I'm not positive if I'm fully grasping this,I read a short article on the object relation theroy, to try to better understand.
I may not be understanding, but I'm up late and this post made me think of one of my own things.

I don't know of my "signs", as I refer them to, would be considered symbols.


I sometimes see "signs" in things but am told it's part of my mental illness .. and my signs may not make sense to others. Actually, I know some of them don't, but they are pretty clear to me at times.
I've tried very hard over the years to "rationalize" my signs. Sometimes I believe I've been 'wrong' to do this to myself, just because of a world that doesn't understand.

One example that I have a great memory on is:
The object was rocks and a pine cone..
I seriously believed that my friend (ex-so now) was playing with me through the rocks and the pine cone was a symbol of love (it all connected at the time of why I thought this)...

And when my brother tried to tell me that the rocks meant nothing, that my friend wasn't playing with me (I didn't tell my brother about the pine cone); and more coincidence to the mix- a spider bit me when he was explaining this.
I took the spider bite as a sign that my brother was telling me poisoned thoughts. (The spider that bit me I had a reaction to that the bit turned a little purple; which really upped my beliefs)...

Probably on the outside to others, if one knew my background, is that, I was just a lost young adult that was reaching for anything to gain a connection with someone else.. to be gently loved, even in the simplest oddest way.

The spider bite:
My brother(s) had done plenty of things through out my life at that point that I had good reason to doubt any advice they gave, but it's hard to admit & stay out of denial when One feels like they are so alone and believes only a selected few understand; and it's"what's normal".

I did eventually tell my friend this, he says he used to play around with the rocks but everyone else did too- it wasn't for me. The pine cone wasn't by him.

I think even to this day I still argue with myself at times about if it was a sign or not...

At any rate, it all did help me learn a bit more. That sometimes things are just things, and sometimes I do remember to ask "what am I trying to tell myself out of it all?"