and also, there is something to be said for being on your own a while. if i remember correctly.... didnt you say a while ago that you went straight from your parents to your husband? no time to yourself? maybe some of your issues are because youve never really "grown up". y'know what i mean? my boyfriend is working on that now because he went basically from his parents house to my apartment and never had that self-reliant/growing up stage that most people get. so hes learning now to get through it. a healthy relationship should be focused on helping the other person grow as a person. if you find youre doing anything for your own satisfaction, then its not really loving anymore is it?