Quote:
Originally Posted by graystreet
Heh, yep. That sounds so similar to what I said to him. I had so many times where I said “After all these years, are you just going to ignore me like I don’t exist?” And, at the end, “I want this to end too, but after all these years as friends, can we not end this better?” It was, at first nastiness, then ignoring. And now I don’t exist because he’s cut me out of his life completely, blocked and deleted me from everything including an online game we used to play together. It just amazes me how thorough he was.
This man is 46, by the way. I’m not quite 40.
I’m not sure the fact that he’s gone hurts, especially knowing who he turned into (except I miss certain little things). I think what hurts is that I let him manipulate my emotions during the relationship, and I even rationalized it to my T as well as myself. I also find things in the aftermath which tell me this man was never going to show me all of himself. But I was pretty much an open book with him.
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Hmm. I recognise that too. I felt I told hím Everything, even some things about my Close ones (well not sensitive things) and he said I was secret. Especially he said I was secret about my work and I tried to involve him but I Think he just wanted to know what men I was talking to and had meetings and lunches with.
And I Think he was secret. I told him my plans long ahead, but his was told the day Before. I was open with my phone, who wrote on Messenger and what, who messed, what was I surfing on. My photos. He was very sensitive about his phone and kind of held the phone so I would not see, and only showed a few photos. I said I talked to Mary today, for example, he said I talked to a friend.
He met my friends, but was not keen on letting me see his friends. Why are you so obsessive with that he asked. I have not met all yours and noone at your work Place.
Well ha ha some things come back now. Isnt that strange. And he says I am secret and that was one of the things he worried about.
And we were friends first. He was so important to me and he said the same to me. How I can go a day without texting About special things I see or do or hear. That new song. That strange person in the store. It is so empty, I feel so lost and empty. I have probably not accepted this yet.