thanks rhapsody and ev.
Rhapsody, what you said really helps. I forget, until I come here, that there are others who feel like I do. I have always felt so alone with everything, and always like "I am THE only one".
Ev- just to explain quickly...my memories are of 1 day, where I have a 'video' memory of every detail of what I was doing except for what my t and I estimate to be 30-45 minutes inbetween which cannot be accounted for. My mind has developed 2 scenarios to fill in the blank. 1 is what I wish was right, the other is what I suspect is right. Ugh.