Hello again,

Thank you all for caring about me, I really appreciate it too much.

As an update: I send a love letter to that guy I was talking about and responded to me nicely saying that he found my feelings for him very beautiful and honest, and we chat a little.

I was very happy with his response it did reduced the pain by great deal and it was the best day of my entire life (no exaggeration), although I am still living in agony but at least he now know that I exist and I love him despite everything.

I don’t want this feeling of love to fade away still I don’t wanted to stay, it’s like a paradox, a beautiful anguish, sometimes I wish that none of this ever happened but still that guy I love is the most beautiful thing I have ever known so I don’t regret knowing him.

Another thing I notice is that I somewhat like the feeling of indifference (not caring about anything) that struck me since the beginning of this crisis, it reduced my anxiety and set me free from worries, like no matter what will happen I couldn’t care less. I feel like the universe is mine I can do and say whatever I want nothing matters nothing is on the line.


This entire situation reminds me of the time when I was in middle and high school when I was trying to form relationships with handsome colleagues of mine but I was extremely shy to do that. However, I remember one time when I almost kissed a classmate on his lips (couldn’t resist the temptation he was perfect) but I stopped in the last moment fearing how he would react.

I don’t have much else to say now, see you soon my friends.