Hello Zkk: I'm sorry you & your husband are struggling with this most difficult situation. Caring for a newborn can stress even the calmest person. And if a person isn't used to being around babies, or if a person is anxious to begin with, it can be a really difficult situation.

Your husband's yelling while holding your baby certainly isn't doing your baby any good. And his hitting himself isn't good for him either. Plus I'd be concerned that his inability to cope with your baby's crying could potentially lead to something really serious such as your husband shaking the baby or even hitting her / him.

From my perspective, I think you must do whatever you can to resolve this situation as quickly as possible. Get your baby into some sort of child care. Or, alternatively, arrange for someone else in your family to care for your baby while you're at work or to at least be present when your husband is caring for your baby.

And, yes, it certainly wouldn't be a bad idea for your husband to seek counseling, or mental health therapy services, either. If your husband's lack of ability to tolerate your baby's crying escalates, & he physically hurts your baby out of frustration, it could potentially result in some serious consequences for all three of you. Please do whatever you have to do to resolve this situation as soon as possible.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to continue posting. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!