I am so over myself. I keep thinking of things I've done/mistakes I've made and I am so disgusted with myself. And when other people are telling me things, it sometimes will hit these vulnerabilities and I think everybody knows how horrible I am. I am seriously wondering if I am becoming psychotic and it is terrifying. I feel like I am living in a world I can't trust. I feel like I am completely exposed and everybody knows every mistake I've made. I am so deeply ashamed of myself that it is almost unbearable. I am in a downward spiral from which I can't seem to escape. I so badly want to escape somehow. I want to give up, wave the white flag and surrender.