I'm so sorry for your pain, first of all, and for the fact that you've been betrayed and cheated on. I know this feeling as I have gone through it myself. I have seen red like you. I know that level of anger and rage. It's the worst kind of hurt. I wish a hug could resolve it.

13 years is a long time to know someone. Yes, you will grieve the loss. It will hurt, but trust me, it DOES get better in time. The pain will ease up in time. There is no specific timeline for grieving, but allow yourself to cry and to mourn, but also to feel OK over this ending, because it's for the best.

And if he is one person as a friend, and another as a boyfriend, that's something to think about. I have had this situation too -- twice, in fact. You have to wonder if he is someone you would even want to be friends with, knowing what you know now about him.

Know that you deserve far better. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect at all times. You deserve monogamy. Know that this ending is a good one, because it frees you up for something much better down the road. Know that he will continue on as he is and will do the same to the next person. People don't change... not much at least.

And don't worry about how he feels. What's more important right now is YOU, and your healing. Take care of YOU right now. Do whatever you need to do in order to feel some relief from the pain of this.

It will get better. I promise. (((((((Hugs)))))))