I reached out over and over to just ask him why. I told him I wasn't angry (not at that time I wasn't), but that I just wanted to know what the point was, when I live in Michigan, he in Tennessee, and I had already expressed that I felt my feelings were starting to cool before I went down to see him this last time (this was after he'd already slept with her!) It would have just been so easy to tell me okay, yeah, it's probably best if you don't come down. I think my feelings have cooled off as well. But he didn't, he told me he was really excited for me to come down, kept telling me, to the point that, even the day before, when I was not feeling any excitement at all, but he kept texting how happy and excited he was to see me, I was like okay. I'm going to go because he is so excited. Let's just make it a happy weekend. And I wanted to know why, when I got there and told him I felt our chemistry had died, he told me he still wanted me there and wanted to keep trying when he'd already been sleeping with someone else. Like...why??? What is the point??? I live 10 hours away!!

When he finally did break his 2 day silence, he said "Because you were and are a crazy stalker. I have texts. I have recordings. Continue to reach out and I will get legal." What??? That makes no sense. You didn't decide to cheat and then love on me because I'm a crazy stalker. If I'm a crazy stalker, you leave and block every avenue of communication, not ask me to come to Tennessee. I know to what he's referring; the way I found this is because I looked on FB. I went down a rabbit hole. And I have done it before. And fine, it sucks, and it's creepy. But when I am as suspicious as I have been, and he's being shady, and I know he's lied to me before (not like this), I told him: when you aren't telling the truth, and you are hiding from me, I feel like I have to find the truth somehow. Blaming his moral laxity on me is just stupid. He's doing it because he's cornered. I told him to go ahead and get legal.

I finally told him the only thing I really wanted to know is if he or she has recently been tested for anything, because of course we didn't use a condom. Because of course I believed him when he said I was the only one. And of course, when I told him I wanted an IUD if I was going to come down there more long term, he was all for it. He never got back to my multiple messages about that. But if he didn't give a **** about my feelings, why care about my health? I'm going to guess they haven't been. I've already made my own appointment (I'm a nurse; I am vigilant about this stuff, and I think that being honest, at least for the sake of your partner's ability to make her decision about you wearing a condom is, at the very least, a mature responsibility).

It totally irritates me that she chooses to remain FB friends with him. But whatever, she can have him. If she wants to pick the low-hanging fruit, that's on her.