Ugh. I thought that I needed to know that truth. But it's like a slow bomb going off, and I just feel worse and worse. I mean, the tight, anxious, insistent feeling I've basically been feeling for weeks (my intuition poking at me going, "Hey, girl, listen to me!!!") is totally gone now, but it's replaced with this sort of disoriented feeling like I'm waking from a coma. Everything I thought I knew for the last two years about this person, and had expected to happen with him for well, many years I'd hoped, was a total lie. I don't know why he couldn't have just told me. What is the purpose of playing someone who lives 10 hours away from you? It's not for the sex; we weren't having it enough.