I shouldn't have let you touch me, why did my body react to it sexually when there was nothing sexual about it? I'm scared you could tell although I know that's not possible. What the **** is wrong with me. I'm disgusting and I don't deserve the comfort anyway so I shouldn't have accepted it. I hate myself and I hate going through this and I don't want my body to remember anything because it scares the **** out of me and I don't understand it and I can't control it and I want it all to go away but that's not got me anywhere has it. What choice do I have.