Hi FDT

I'm not sure that you need to have compassion towards those who have wronged you, but other than that I'd say that you have some excellent insight there FDT.
And..........I'm sorry if I'm wrong here.........but I'm thinking that you've been through a lot in your past inc. real bad experiences and they may be holding you back so perhaps working through and getting support with some of those things may be a real good start??

And.........I don't know whether trust may be an issue for you in what you want..........but I'd certainly say self-esteem is, and I'm so sorry you feel that way about yourself
Naturally that can be a very understandable feeling when you've been through experiences like you've talked about..........but that does not need to equate to you actually being all those things you think about yourself, in any way

So again sorry if I'm wrong but if not..........here to support you with those.........

And on a different aspect...........maybe one step at a time?? Maybe try to focus more on/or develop some of those aspects you can like or value if love right now seems too far away..........for instance even if you make a slight connection with someone today.......tomorrow........try to allow yourself to really like and value and feel valued by it.........try to allow yourself to feel more of a "warm" feeling from it (and feel proud of yourself!!!!)............and maybe over time that could take you a step closer to what you want to feel???
Just a thought...........

But..........excellent goal, and please do not give up on it..........if we can support you with it, we're here

Alison