I feel really sad for my daughter. I am seeing that she is irresponsible and then uses lies as excuses. She has just changed 18. She is an adult now, but still very immature. I believe she has some real hard lessons to learn in life. I guess all I can do is be there for her. What did I do that has caused this? I think I must of made some big mistakes with her as she grew up. I have tried my best, but it may not have been enough. I only want the best for her, and most importantly, for her to be happy. I want this for her so much.

I have been really depressed lately. I have not been cleaning up after myself, and I have not been taking care of business. My meds are not working well enough. My next appointment is not for some time yet. I think I will eat out at some relatively inexpensive restaurant. I do not feel like being alone right now.

Yesterday, my entire body started to shake. It effected me emotionally. I went to the ER. I just barely got there for I thought I was going to lose it. Once they found out that I am bipolar, they released me with their diagnosis of conversion. They think my anxiety manifested itself into physical symptoms. I was not particularly anxious. Normal level of anxiety. I do think this is medication related.