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Old Mar 08, 2018, 08:48 PM
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Deejay14 Deejay14 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 1,527
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pint-Sized Punker View Post
Sigh.

This is something that's been bothering me for a while. A lot of folks around my age (I'm 25) are having, planning on having or have had children as of late. This isn't something I've ever been especially interested in. In fact, I find children largely irritating, a drain on finances and at times, a little unnecessary given the declining state of the world over the past decade or so. Folks seem to pop them out willy-nilly these days just because they have the want. Hand me a baby, and I won't have a single clue what to do. I'll probably put it down on the floor as y' do in The Sims or something.

Most notably, this seems to be more of a big deal in the US than in the UK. It's probably a cultural thing with the whole 'American Dream, Nuclear Family' deal that gets peddled across the pond. Doing a little research, I know I'm not the only woman in the world who thinks this way regardless of where we come from, but it doesn't stop these feelings of expectation or my being less as a woman on the whole.

I've even had thoughts about sterilisation in the future because I'd rather focus on a career and, if my partner and I do end up wanting children, there are other routes such as adoption that we can look at instead. I realise that I'm young, but for the love of f***, the last thing I want is for people to turn around and give me the whole 'you'll regret it' spiel when, again, there's more than one way to have a child. Chill out; I'm not about to run to the docs and get my tubes tied, and whether or not I choose to do that is my own business.

Still, I was wondering - hoping, almost - that someone here felt the same way, male or female (hence this isn't in the Women's forum). Am I normal, being a woman, to not have a single metaphorically maternal bone in my body? Is it okay if I don't particularly like to be around children? Will the world see this as another reason to label me, besides the blue mohawk?

Honestly, there's plenty of stuff in my own life that I could do with getting sorted without adding a child to the mix.

To reiterate a little more blatantly; my partner isn't entirely fussed about having children either. We've spoken at length about the idea and we're happy as we are. That said, it doesn't stop me from wondering whether I'm doing something wrong.

No shame in not wanting children. I knew at 22 that I did not want children.I came from a large close family of 9. My parents were totally okay with my decision. It's far better to know before you have one that parenting isn't for you. That being said at 57 I have nieces and nephews as well as their children that i enjoy. Don't fret over this.Never once regretted my decision.
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True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson