I feel like there is emotional violence sometimes and T said I need to set boundaries to protect myself. I cant because I cant even imagine how to do it.

Sure I am upset. I have difficulties with money because I was at psych hospital for two months and cant work full time. My bf gives money for food, driving, sometimes buys me sonething and I feel guilty. He bought me smartphone.
He does many things for me but...
He emotionally destroys me.
Our sex life is ok, I never want it but when it happens I enjoy it.
I feel under his control like he doesnt let me breath but if I left him.. I know all his family, everyone knows we are engaged.
Im almost 30 and Im afraid to stay alone.
Im afraid to hurt him because he tries for me.
I feel something for him but Im not sure its love. Addiction? Attachment? I dont know but I also dont know HOW TO STOP IT.
I feel like there is no way out. I know I wont be happy with him but also without him. But I dont know what is worse.