Rose, I am very sorry you are going through this.

I have been following your posts and it surely seems like you take great care of your boyfriend.

I have never dealt with hospice directly. My neighbor has done so and we are very close. Around here, they don't refer anyone to hospice unless the person is expected to live less than 6 months. My neighbor's spouse was at the end of her life and went to a Hospice House, where she'd lived only 5 more days. I've had another friend referred to the Hospice House and she'd lived a month.

Do you have a similar option, a Hospice live-in center where they take care of their patients? Do you need him to have this type of care? Is his care too much for you now? Is his care too much for you if he gets worse?

If there is not a Hospice facility near you, then his care will fall, largely, upon you (at home). Hospice nurses usually don't do a lot when people are in hospice at home. They tend to do more toward the very end of life.

I tend to agree with you. I think I'd want the option of admitting him to the hospital if/when he gets worse, if there is no Hospice facility nearby.

Sometimes, this is, at least partially, about where we'd like our loved ones to pass: at home or in a hospital/facility. Yet, we must also consider if we are truly up to providing all of the care involved in home-based Hospice.

It's a lot to consider, Rose.

This is a very sensitive and a very important topic. I hope I have shown my deep respect for you and for your boyfriend. It's been my intention to show utmost respect and concern.

May you be at peace with your final decision(s).

I admire you very much. You've been a real trooper, showing a lot of love to your boyfriend. I am sorry you are both in this situation.


WC