I'm not sure my BPD behaviors got me abused. I think, through this whole thread, I've been taking responsibility for my behavior. It is difficult, however, for someone who does struggle with the things I do to fight against being abused by a narcissist. Things happened, they are done, I don't feel like I'm not moving forward. But I come on PC so that I can talk about the things that no one in my personal life wants to hear me ruminate about. Of course I'm still hurt; this happened this week. He was in my life for over a decade. I think it's okay that I grieve and get it out on here. That doesn't mean I'm not healthily focusing on myself offline; I've got a pretty good grasp on my mental health outside of this situation, which makes how I got into it all the more painful for me.

I know you don't understand the whole context, and I understand you're probably trying to be helpful. But I'm still processing and grieving. It's still pretty fresh.