I am making a difference at work. I am really seeing progress and it is measurable. I am doing everything that I need to be doing while I am learning this new program. I am incrementally adding things to my repertoire, because I want to do this well. And the program is growing.

My social anxiety is proving to be a terrifying nemesis. It makes me think things are really bad, only to find out they are not that bad. It skews my thoughts and interpretations. It's so difficult to try to live in a world that doesn't make sense to me. It is horrifying to realize that you can't rely on yourself. Thankfully, I am not in that place now. I do feel compassion for myself because it is really scary and I really try to work through it to get through the other side. I didn't handle it perfectly, and I felt so much shame which is really upsetting. But, I can only do the best that I can at any given minute.

I'm going to relax, not think about work (except what I brought home to do), and just find something interesting to do with my H and D.

I really appreciate the support here, it helps me when I am in a dark place.