about two years ago, and a few days before new years i said goodbye to my boyfriend. he was leaving for Iraq. that was hard. i was already depressed and it just made it all that much worse.... a few days later i went out with my friend to a new years eve party at the house of one of our buds. at the party i was having a good time but then suddenly i snapped! i can't even remember the exact order everything happened, but i became violent. i was starting fight with a lot of guys at the party, and making threats to my own life. i put my fist through a car window, and i even got a knife out of my friends kitchen in front of about 100 people. i took it to the bathroom to slit my wrists, and they had to force their way in to get me out. i ran down the street and one of the guys ran after me. he picked me up and tried to carry me back to the house but he dropped my onto the cement. chipped my front tooth. that really pissed me off cuz i really care about my looks so i kicked his ***. and i ran back to the house. they called the cops but my little brother was there and he took me home. a little while later the police showed up at my house and 5150'd me. i was put in a psych hospital for a couple days. they even had me share a room with another bipolar chick who told me all about lithium
i didnt know i was manic at the time. i was in denial for the longest time, and looking back on this now, i can see how that was the worst manic episode so far. i have been bottling this up, i didnt want to even remember what happened that new years eve cuz i didnt know how to understand it, and i didnt want to believe i was losing it.
i always think twice now befor going to a party or going out on new years. i havent been to a party since.