Rose, I admire and respect you so much.
I have been reading your posts and my heart sinks for you. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea about the VA and/or hospice system so I cannot possibly provide a helpful insight. But i know that you are always very level headed and you have a good handle of your emotions. This makes me think that your instincts about the double talk is accurate.
But please do know that I am thinking of you.