After years of beating myself up because I could not do the things I use to do like work full time and living life like hiking, socializing, walking my dogs etc..

A few days ago I finally realized that I need to accept my limitations with my illness. I would feel so much guilt and shame if I could not even get into the shower, play or walk my dog, can't work or just want to sleep etc...

I was excited about this realization and told my therapist about my new found acceptance of myself. I was crushed when I felt invalidated by him. His thinking is I can get better with positive thinking. He told me when I get depressed, just tell the depression to go away and push through it.

After my session I was so shaken up I was literally shaking and had to call the crisis line. Again the next morning I woke up literally shaking and had to call the crisis line and had to get reassurance that my Bipolar symptoms are real and you can't just will it away.

I believe in positive affirmations and I'm doing all I can to the best of my ability to try to get well. All the doctors and therapist I've been too throughout the years have been very supportive.

After seeing my current therapist that day instead of learning more about Bipolar and symptoms like I've usually done I started going on web sites where people and doctors were saying Bipolar is just made up. It's an excuse to for our behaviors or moods. This has caused me to go into a crisis mode.

I feel better after talking to my doctors nurse and explaining to her what happened. I asked my therapist. So you think people with schizophrania and other mental disorders they can just get well with positive thinking? He just said I'm focusing on the diagnosis too much. He never gave me a clear answer about his opinion.

Here I was finally excepting my limitations so I would not beat myself up on a daily basis and I felt so invalidated. I don't want this disease. I would not wish it on anyone. I want to be like I use to be.

Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.