As the depressed individual in a relationship I can tell you all I wanted was acknowledgement and appreciation.

Reach out and find understanding. What are the triggers or source of the depression? Are there things you can do to take the burden off? Address the illness, tell him you want to understand, and ask how you can best provide encouragement.

And speaking of encouragement, what is he doing to improve his own situation? Can you encourage him to talk to his family doctor? One avenue is to ask him to look into and contact his EAP (Employee Assistance Program). Note, do not confuse this with a benefits package. Many employers have an EAP. What they basically are, is a clearing house of resources and support.

For example, when I realised I was dealing with work place stress and anxiety, I contacted my own EAP. The person on the phone provided a kind ear. They set me up with a free consultation with two different psychologists that my benefits plan would cover. They, with my permission, acted as an advocate with my HR department at work. They also sent me a care package which basically was a box of workbooks and stress reduction things (a CD, bath salts, essential oil, book).

Another example, my boyfriend as part of his job duties had to respond to the scene of a fatality. He had to look after the needs of his company driver but it was disturbing to him too. Who would look after his needs? He was clearly distressed so I asked him to call his own EAP for guidance. They provided him with a telecon psychologist for several sessions.

So investigate whether your husband has such a resource available. They really do a lot of good.