In session, my T gave me a full intensity, full emotion, powerhoused total-focus that he seemed to have planned. He wants me to understand that shame is always a byproduct o fabuse ,and own it and overcome it(?). ( I think).

Midstream he said that therapy is a medical event, he is the doctor and I am the patient. That really hurt . The context is that my BF is not a therapy fan.

At first I took responsibility for hurt feelings about him not having much skin in the game over the holidays by trying to see if I romaticized therapy too much ( back in January).

This time I just wonder if his worldview, hidden behind neutrality, is far enough away from felt-experience of talking about intimate topics that I feel a bit betrayed, and then silly for feeling that way.

Apropos of nothing, he said that people who have affairs dont trust others bc they themselves are not trustworthy. For some reason, I replied I thought an affair was a boundaried space too ,and that maybe his view was conventional or maybe he saw the unhappy fall out in his practice, but it was generalizing rather than embracing moral complexity.

The session was supercharged and very intense. I feel heartsick about it.