Quote:
Originally Posted by apfei
Yes, i feel remorse for things i've done while manic, some reckless hyper-sexuality especially. My feeling goes beyond remorse tho. I feel shame. I feel so ashamed of myself that i think it's good that i've withdrawn from life so as not to create anymore shameful memories to agonize over.
Just a note on your late diagnosis. Early diagnosis does not automatically mean your illness will be managed. I was diagnosed at 25. I'm 51 and my illness has proved to be treatment-resistant and i still struggle with mood swings. Of course, there's a chance that an early diagnosis would have lead to a better outcome, but my point is that it is not a sure thing.
|
I can totally relate to the shame. Back when I was a late teen to early twenties, I was sexually promiscuous, drinking very excessive, and blacking out. Shame is a terrible thing, as it eats you alive. It takes your self esteem, and makes (at least for me) you feel worthless. Those are the LIES we tell ourselves. I think therapy will give me a chance to unload some of this shame, which I’ve carried like a heavy load on my back for 30 plus years.
What do you mean by treatment resistant?