My boyfriend had a horrible marriage experience just prior to me. -she sounded controlling and she cheated on him. He lost a lot of money and hes very bitter about it all. Bitter about housing, women, relationships and the longevity of them! I'll be telling him about a couple at work and he'll comment that it won't last. He's said you shouldn't fall in love or get a wife if you want to go far in life. I've suggested he go and talk to someone about it because he's just so bitter and angry about it all but he said he just won't make the same mistakes again.

I've tried to talk to him about it this week. He has said many things that worry me but the worst was when he said he's not going to be heart broken again so he's not going to be overly attached anymore. He said he won't fight for me to stay and I should stay only if I want to. But he IS loving to me. He calls me pets names and is affectionate. I sometimes wonder if there is a lack of emotional intimacy. He is on his phone A LOT and I've given up trying to connect with him.

This 'no attachment' worries me but I'm wondering if I'm being TOO attached and expecting too much from him? I know i get very attached to people.. ( ive been an absolute mess this week thinking about this). But why should I get attached if he's not willing to do the same for me?. I'm not even sure what 'no attachment' looks like as I don't know what he would be doing differently if he were more attached to me. I was very close to my first boyfriend and I'm wondering if that's it.. you're first attachment is the strongest and then the need fades away? But then.. why am I so miserable? I don't want to believe that!! I love my boyfriend but everything that he's said makes me think that I'm wanting more attachment in my relationship? What if I lose him but i don't find it anywhere? Is this just what adult relationships are about? .. it also comes down to the fact that I don't think he loves me as much as he did his ex wife. He talked about the rest of his life with her and committed to her. Why doesn't he feel that way about me? I feel like I'm second best.

Thanks for listening