Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
I come from poor people, so the idea of anyone granting me attention or personal caring because it's done at a prep school is hard to conceive. Even though my therapist is not in a posh practice, I pay her full fee. It just doesn't register that I am owed anything. Mostly, though, I had only been trying to sympathize with you because it's hard for me to deal with this kind of non-personal relationship too. I can see that it's not helping you to share my thoughts, so I am sorry and will stop.
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Hi
Caveat here-my attachment to /expectations of / connected not connected etc to my therapist causes me huge emotional pain and much sleepless introspection
This is an interesting thread and I'm trying to "feel" the different viewpoints but like you I don't feel that any previous experience of attention being granted or when I've given attention makes it in any way an expectation-this therapeutic relationship question can't be answered other than it is what it is and that is extremely painful as it can't evolve in a societally normal type way-we get more and more invested and the therapists can't/don't or they wouldn't survive-that's not to say that some clients aren't a better fit for them personally -as a vet some animals distress impacts me deeply and I remember them literally forever but I have to turn myself around for the next one-eventually this will cause burnout however well you try to protect yourself so having these boundaries seems a living breathing compromise to survive as long as possible in any helping profession
We all get it wrong sometimes/try to tighten boundaries/act harder than we feel but doing pain and distress for a living is extremely tough however much you are paid