Thank you guys for the replies.

I take Adderall (25 mg) every day but in some ways I think it may be making me worse. It increased my anxiety, for example, and I debate myself all the time about whether or not to quit it.

And I have not had ECT, although it was recommended to me in the hospital. My friend, and also an ex bf, both had it done and both said that it was not helpful to their depression - other than helping curb psychosis (which is a problem that I thankfully do not have). They both said the memory loss and physical toll was not worth the experience and they would not have done it again. So while I appreciate this suggestion, I don't think it's right for me.

If the new psychiatrist is a total bust (which I'm expecting that it will be) I think I may go off my meds entirely and go from there because I'm not sure that I believe in 'getting help' anymore.