I've been struggling for over a year to get the HR person at my work to formalize basic ADA accommodations for a documented mental disability. There is amble evidence that I'm a qualified worker. Every time I would check in on the progress, nothing would be done and they'd say "I'll look into it and get back to you." This pattern continued for many months, then they started trying to falsely place the blame on me for not reminding HR of my request more often. It definitely felt like victim blaming for their unreasonable delays, which is a big trigger that exacerbates the condition for which I am actually seeking accommodations and amplifies feelings of extreme worthlessness.

After calming down from the last time this happened, I was thinking, "Who does something like that?! Something so ironically inappropriate?!" And then it hit me. It isn't about me. Something is very wrong with our HR person. Something big. I asked around, and that big thing may very well be alcoholism.

I still need my accommodations to feel safe at work, but at the same time I feel compelled to protect this individual who is suffering and not pester them, even though they hurt me and are not currently competent at their job. The company I work for is not huge, and it feels like I've stumbled upon one of those secrets that's analogous to the "Now that I've told you, I'll have to kill [fire] you" situations. It's a messy battle amongst assertively getting what I need, empathetically looking out for the suffering HR person, and mindfully protecting my job because now I may know too much.