Welcome, you will certainly find a lot of support here.
I along with many others here was diagnosed midlife. 2017 was the worse year of my life which finally lead to the bipolar diagnosis. I’m still often struggling with shame from my early twenties. Oddly how in my twenties I would actually tell myself that as I got older my feeling of shame would disappear and just become something of my past. Boy was I wrong. Have a new T and really hoping to learn to forgive myself and let this all go. I hope you get all the support you need to work through this.