I totally understand this. I fear for my own future- I know what its like to lose control and its terrifying.

I hope that things stay good for you- but you have to do the best you can to help yourself- ok? Even when it feels scary and not enough.

You have to take it day by day, do the best you can, and thats all you can do. Work with things as they come up- and hope that by doing it you catch EVERYTHING before it gets too bad.

Again, good luck to you