You seem to love and hate yourself. You say your mood (under your photo) is 'twisted' Part of you has not given up wanting friends. Part of you cares about not having friends. It seems clear you want others to care about you.

Here are some Tony Robbins quotes:

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The past does not equal the future

If you do what you have always done you will get what you have always gotten.

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.

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Tony Robbins would likely suggest you write down a list of reasons you want to have friends and keep going for at least 30 minutes.

Then write down all of the reasons you like being alone and keep going for at least 30 minutes.

Another Robbins quote:

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped