Is the relationship between psychologist and patient client a mirage more than real both sides? The client is the better person in this often,striving to be vulnerable while the T strives to hide what he is not feeling, not just what he is. Moral relativity. He is doing this fo the patient's own good, with his training .

You are breaking the spell you cast on me that psychotherapy is a magical, corrective processes elevated above the common every day world, and you are doing that with purposefulness. You think abused kids comfort themselves with magical thinking even as adults, and that a little magical thinking is needed for the patient buy into the therapeutic alliance .

We talked about Equus and how when therapists burn out, they can be seduced by magical thinking. The psychiatrist in that play didn't want cure his patient, because there was some passion in the boy missing in the man. We both remembered the line when he said he needed his patients more than his patients needed him- a way of seeing in the dark but no longer knowing what dark it is.

You can be Luke Skywalker, Yoda, Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting ,Dumbledore- and how of course you love that mirror.

We talked about me being a teacher and Robin Williams again in Dead Poet Society,and how both roies are not the best practice( student/client centered) but they romanticize the teacher/psychologist as an exile on a Hero's Journey. How there is moral relativity to you but legit moral confusion to me in Robin W committing suicide.

You said you are not on a hero's journey, you just "bumble" around, you are a doctor, I am a patient, and the guy who cleans the windows is a window cleaner. You say you want to set me free of magic because then the harrowing past will hurt less. I do not understand you mean intellectually, but I grasp what you mean in my heart.

You told me I am "exquisite" to you, and yet and yet the guy cleaning the windows is to us the window cleaner. It was a sad session, but it perked up my curiosity too.

I think you are conventional in the way you live and go to marraige counseling with your wife and then offer couple's counseling to others and talk about coparenting and other such therapist parlance. You hate being seen as conventional; you want be a mystic healing brilliantly not a suburban daddy listening NPR.I think you remember your life before, and you see your choices make complex messy feelings a moral danger, and you are scared. What you don't want is to have your own feelings the room ,in case anyone touches them and reminds you what it used be like to feel freer.

Our theme seems to be quality of life - Robion William's ,yours, mine.