I have this need to prove myself- to myself. No one but myself. And that means that- even though I really do have fairly severe depressive episodes (to the point of some of them causing pretty intense suicidal ideation and self injury)... I have this need to NOT have them... limit me in any way.

I think back to myslef as a young child- and think... would that little kid... want to know that Im doing well, keeping up with things the best I can... or would that little girl be sad to see what I have become.

This is not to shame you. Mental health concerns are no joke. And sometimes I cant get out of bed. Sometimes the best I can do is to keep myself from injuring myself. Get through the day to the point where I can sleep again.

But I do want to say- never give up. Do what you can... and then try to do a little more. Push yourself. Not over the edge, but away from the point where you are depressed with where you are and what you are missing out on.

Good luck. Its really hard to funcion with mental health issues. It has taken me a while to get to where I am. And it wasnt easy. I know though, if I can do it, you can too