Not at all your fault you were raped. I so hope one day you internalize that fact. As for the ex; he was playing a bit of a game to tell you that he had feelings for you, but could now never be together because of the pictures. We all have done things we aren't especially happy about after the fact. No one should be making you feel worse, especially since he had zero right because you two were no longer together. Please attempt to breathe and know you are okay and you deserve to treat yourself better and be treated better.