The more I think about this, the more I'm coming up with telltale signs of problems that go back a very long time. It's weird that it takes me so long to have an "aha!" moment where I see myself scurrying around like I'm a human mouse, in a broad variety of situations. I can imagine what I'd have to do to improve things. Why can I not just "do it" when I finally see where the problem behaviors/attitudes are?