I have BPD, and I can tell you that the answer to each of these questions is yes. However, while I'm very stable and high functioning outside of a relationship, I've never had a stable and healthy relationship so I'm sure I'm not the person you want to hear from. I can say, however, that as I've gotten older my self-awareness has increased quite a bit and I have a pretty decent ability to understand how my actions may affect my relationships (not just romantic ones), even if it is just in hindsight.

Have you talked to your T about it? I find that it's a pretty complicated subject myself.