I am so sorry for what you're going through. I don't think you've lost your sons for good, though. I was incapacitated by my symptoms from 2005-2012, but ultimately made it through two graduate programs (one Master's, one Doctorate) in the health sciences. Working full-time has been a struggle, but I'm working 20hrs a week now and doing well with that. I don't rely on my parents for any financial support, and I feel happy with my life. Things seemed bleak for a solid 7 year stretch, but they did ultimately get a lot better. People who know me now can't even believe I was ever that ill because I'm currently flourishing.

I truly believe your sons will both get better. It does take time, but it will eventually happen, especially as long as they have your support. Remember the saying--the darkest hour is the hour just before dawn. Just when things seem at their bleakest, the darkness will begin to subside. Have you thought of seeking therapy for yourself? It's not easy dealing with multiple children with chronic mental illnesses. It could help a lot to have someone to share your struggles with--please remember to take care of yourself, too