So Im, getting anxious, embarrassed, frustrated and scared about my appointment with the urologist. My part isn’t working and hope to get it back up to par. My last time I barely lasted, it was a fraction of what I usually do. Mental issues have lead to a lot of physical problems, I guess from not taking care of myself.

I also realized I’m still anxious of seeing people. I would get depressed about just seeing people and get so envious. I guess that’s still active, cause I messed up and ditched on someone.

I see I’m still not ready for a relationship but want one so bad I hate being lonely but I’m scared off being a disappointment. I feel embarrassed and want to talk to someone about it but I feel like it’s too personal.

Ok I’m done. I’m going to bed hopefully wake up not depressed.
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