Hi Cluckybear.

I think overall parents do the best they know how with the knowledge and behaviours they learned from their own parents...however, often they come up short in many areas. To lay blame at their feet would only cause grief in my opinion, if seeking closure or an apology or reasons as to why you are struggling. To atone for past mistakes your parents would first have to acknowledge that they were lacking...this rarely happens.

The good news is that you seem to have insight into your own shortcomings and issues,...which in my view is half the battle won. Finding a thoughtful therapist who is invested in helping you work through your issues and implement strategies to allow you to move forward with confidence is your best bet.

Please be kind and generous to yourself Cluckybear...and all the best in moving forward.