I was diagnosed different things by different doctors over a twenty year old dysfunctional marriage with my husband. Borderline traits, EDD, PTSD, and MDD. Multiple other doctors/therapists said they did not diagnose me with anything. I blew through all these therapists not staying with any for more than several months, taking long breaks in between seeking help again.

With that said, I have had long, happy romantic relationships, short ones that just didn’t click but were not toxic, and some where I was dumped or I ran away. Lots of experience before I met my husband.

We were married nearly 25 years. He was poison for me. I cried an ocean. Now we’ve separated and I am getting up the nerve to divorce him. I am so traumatized, physically broken.

So, IDK if I really have any diagnosis, or if I just had a bad match with him.

I never thought it could have been this bad or I wouldn’t have married him. Had I been diagnosed with BPD first, I may have been too scared to marry and have kids.

I have a great relationship with my three kids and never struggled with them. I loved being a mom.

It takes two to tango and my husband played his role. This wasn’t me alone for sure!