Quote:
Originally Posted by whisperingskye
It would seem that loved ones dying is one of my biggest triggers. It is literally the one thing guaranteed to set me off.
I used to always get confused when it came to bpd, and how it was relationship breakdowns that i should be worried about. And yes, I’m worried about that, but death is the worst.
Is anyone elses bpd triggered by death more than relationships??
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I was - and then everyone was dead except for me.
My mom died when I was four-years-old and I ‘processed’ death within a year but I felt the abandonment. My dad left me in the care of others until he got his **** together and that felt like one abandonment after the other. He died when he was in his mid-50’s. Another abandonment.
So, yes, these deaths were bad. The abandonment by my wife was the worst, though. And the last. I grovelled, begged and pleaded with her.
I think that I feel as if I’ve had more relationship abandonments than those by death. And I’ve been guilty of abandoning others so I don’t feel great about that. There just aren’t many left to die.