(((((((((((Christina)))))))))))

You would be very, VERY missed. If you've ever believed anything i've ever said, believe that.

You say you want you're friends to know, but you're scared of how they'll react.... can you give them a chance to react? You never know, they may just prove you wrong and show you how much they care and want to help you. You don't seem like the person who would attract uncaring friends, so maybe try talking with one of them? Even if you just share a little bit... its worth a shot, at least then you'd know for sure how they would take things.

You don't need to "pretend" to be or do anything... thats only going to keep things building up inside you, and will eventually work out against you. But I imagine you already know that....

I'm glad you have an appt on Monday... do you think it would be possible to ask one of your friends to walk you there? You wouldn't really even have to explain a whole lot if you don't want... just that you're talking with someone, and could use the extra company to make sure you get there.

Working on loving and accepting yourself if so hard... SO hard. But you are on the right track. You're acknowledging how you're feeling, and you're working on how you can fix things - even if it doesn't feel like it. Just by booking your appt, and saying you WANT to talk with your friends shows that you are slowly working your way towards feeling better...

Be kind with yourself.. and know how much you mean to everyone here, and also to your friends.

Hugs,
Jacq