I am hurting so much over my session today, and nothing went wrong. There's so much communion and intensity inside the session, and then it is like 50 minutes,back out on the street, eyes adjusting to the light, and all that human connection - the effort it takes to offer it up- is for what? My own good? Lately I have been stuck, with my T being reductive, always, about what therapy is( a medical procedure) and yet giving more than that, it seem like. What are we doing, what does it mean if anything? Is it really like one runner against her own best time, only about me, and T is there only as a cure and not as a person? I am scared . I am half way through a forest( My T says in the thick of it) , and it is like my trusted guide might be the tin man or he might be so so careful bc he is wanting somethings be redeemed by being a trustworthy male. I wish I could read his mind, but of course mindreading even Woebot doesn't encourage.