Thanks so much Nammu! You know, I have come to a point where I am ABSOLUTELY sick and tired of this nonsense you know? Just an endless merry-go-round of meds, meds, hospitalization after hospitalization, ten steps backwards, raging alcoholism straight to the bottom of a liquor bottle, till I fall into a hole of depression SO damn deep I want to end it all. God what a mess I have made of my life!! I FINALLY told myself ENOUGH is ENOUGH dammit! You know what I mean?

Yeah, the mania is great, I mean I am totally enjoying it, but I always know where it ends -straight to the floor of psych ward begging, PLEADING for them to stop giving me so many drugs! Uh-uh, not happening again, not by a longshot. I am kicking the crap outta this, and moving forward with my life.