I feel like the drug I take to calm me down and make me sleep better also makes me feel number and more detached. So I feel less motivated to pray and a little more depressed. My drug makes me feel more distant from God. I hate it. However, there are also things I don't like about myself when I get manic. I wish I wasn't like this. I am so tired of being like this. I look forward to the peace death will bring and hope I will be reunited with the people I love. Like you, I believe God is something that lives inside of us. Life feels pretty empty when we are not in touch with our spirituality. I can relate to the struggle within...