J.G. - when I was going through the process of grieving my mother's passing, at some point I found myself increasingly connecting with memories and thoughts of her that evoked feelings of appreciation and gratitude. More specifically, I was increasing connecting with the ways in which that person had a positive influence/impact on my life, and increasingly finding myself feeling thankful and grateful. I felt/experienced these emotions in my heart center. What I noticed, over time - was that evoking these heart-based emotions surrounding the individual who passed on was transmuting the hurting/pain, and it was contributing to my healing. Eventually it reached a point where consciously connecting with my memory of this individual would conjure up less and less pain/hurting - and more and more thankfulness/appreciation/gratitude (positive/healing emotional response). I'm now (thankfully) in a place where I no longer experience any hurting/pain when I connect with thoughts/memories of this person...

So maybe, when you are ready to do so, you can encourage yourself to increasingly focus on and connect with the positive attributes/memories/influences that you associate with those individuals who passed (crossed over). Try to be aware how this affects how you're feeling, over time...