Hi Ben, I'm sorry for all the pain you're going through. I'm going through a divorce too. You are grieving now and it hurts. I read somewhere, that it takes about 2 years to grieve after the divorce.

Here is a good book:
Rebuilding: When your Relationship Ends. by Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti.
I bought this book and reach into it from time to time for support and understanding. It documents the emotional landscape of divorce and recovery, seems to know just what you are feeling, and has good advice for moving forward. I find the book realistic, yet optimistic.

Apparently, there are various support groups around the U.S. (maybe elsewhere too), centered on the Rebuilding book. Maybe this could be a place you meet others and find support.

I hope you can stop drinking alcohol. This is bringing you down. Some people find success in quitting smoking with the help of wellbutrin (Zyban), which is also an anti-depressant.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
And if I email her at work she emails me back and she is nice to me, I think that may make things harder.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">For the sake of co-parenting your children, it is much better if the parents are able to be nice to each other. Your children will benefit from a civil and cordial relationship between their parents. I know it can be hard, but it really is better.