not sure of spelling maybe being absent is a good way to say it - having no knowledge of what happened in that time -

once though I was with my T and he asked me if i was ready to be better - i started laughing almost hysterically and said are you crazy? why are you soooooo serious

this time it was like i was there sitting beside myself and my other self was laughing at him and all i could say was im sorry im sorry i dont know why i said that....

it was strange to feel myself sitting by myself lol yup i am crazy lol

mostly though i do things and have no idea what i did or where i was - i call it "stepping away"

there was abuse from a very young age - i dont remember - i see pics of me and i dont know who it was -

i used to sing in two voices in my head - i called the other voice little bird - and i thought that was normal

I wont go into the violence verbal and physical sexual abuse

so i guess i call it stepping away ....