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Originally Posted by Sassandclass
Hi 
From your description of your actions it made me wonder what personality enneagram type you are. Do you know? I suspect you may be a “2” which is a giver or helper. I am as well. I have found some of the exact problems from life because of this. |
WARNING: re-reading I realize this post is full of negativity (of pain) so please only read on if you are prepared for that.
I don't know my enneagram type for sure, but I'm not a 2.
2s are very good with people, I am not... they seem to have endless resources for giving-expressing affection, I'm very bad at that... I'm bad at the emotional "manipulation" too. I'm only good at giving practical help/practical services. But the one thing I relate to in 2, I was trying to give that practical help so much that I think I f--cked up the relationship with who I would have liked to see as my best friend. That was last year, about 10 months ago. Actually I finally wrote her an email today with the same mindset I always have about this and I'm waiting for my death sentence now. I expect a bad response and then I will try to find a way to evaluate everything as ready for suicide.
"Because Twos are very attuned to and aware of the social relationships of the people around them, they may needlessly worry about the people in their significant relationships."
No, actually, I always thought if I had the Two's people skills, I'd be better off... I'd also could really do with having a Two friend in my life
But I don't have any such friends.
"Twos may pay attention to people and then disengage quite quickly once they lose interest in them."
Oh no, this is what kills me. !!!!
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Personally, I always have to work on not hyper-focusing in my friendships and “how they are doing”
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I actually want someone to have that approach towards me. I'd like someone to hyper-focus on me and help me and give me affection like that.
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and instead just letting the friendship flow. It’s a struggle everyday but I consistently try to do this. I also get paranoid when friends seem to “cool off” towards me and that can make me act out in a way that makes me seem needy.
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I'd be TOTALLY fine with some needy friend. I'd not mind it, I'd just see it as them actually caring while needing their own needs being attended to. And I'd be glad to attend to that if I know what to do exactly for that - I need to be told directly.
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Anyways, not sure if any of this sounds familiar to you, but I find that knowing my enneagram type (and my blind spots) helps me to accept myself as someone who is deserving of love, and also helps me to work on myself to achieve total personal health. [emoji169]
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Thanks for the post. I tried all this self-work before, it didn't lead anywhere.
