my session today with my t was rough for me. T laid some hard truths on me today, he said he thinks I've kept myself sick to force him to take care of me, and my child part. We were talking about why that part wants to not eat, because it gives me a good feeling. I told him it does it because it d oesnt have many things to feel good about, because it's never going to get what it wants most- someone to take care of me. Because nobody wanted to. We talked about how he can provide that in limited ways. He said that he had to make the boundaries because it was causing that part to "escalate". He meant the outside contact and extra attention .

I got quiet and felt bad. I told t i felt overwhelmed. T tried to talk about other things but I just wanted to hide. T had "seen" me. It was hard for me and I was quiet the rest of the session. I felt that t was staring at me and it bothered me.